The Best Gift
Some of my fondest memories growing up was the long evenings spent with family and friends. There seemed to be no expectations other than to gather, eat, and fill the room with laughter. Where has this idea of visiting the people you love gone? Have we all just convinced ourselves that this world is spinning way too fast, out of our control, in a whirlwind of desperation to get the next task done our list of life, that we have replaced a visit with a store-bought gift. Before there is an uproar of dismay about store-bought gifts, there is nothing wrong with giving a gift. I love to go and pick out something special for the person I love and watch them open it with this look of surprise. I just love that look and then that ever present smile that seems to never leave their face. Gosh, it is the best. But what I am talking about is a gift that is layered with time and memories.
This week I went over to a good friend of mine's house whom I love dearly. It was time for a long past due visit and for some reason I was feeling slightly overwhelmed thinking about my day of tasks and getting this business off the ground. As someone who wants to be an excellent daughter, granddaughter, and friend, it’s hard to admit that there are times I don’t feel like showing up. Like always though, I know as soon as I get there my cup will be filled, even on the most tiring of days. And before you get the idea that I always push through these feelings and show up, I don’t, but I want to. This, my friend, is why I write to you.
Within this visit were discussing her life and she mentioned something to me that struck home. “I have a lot of time to think. “ she said, “Not a lot of people come by. You know something? It isn’t like it use to be, when people got together and not just for an event but to stop by and have a cup of coffee together. I find myself remising on the the little things, memories that seem to come out of nowhere like the funny phrases that made the whole room laugh when we would get all together. But sometimes I look back and think about the moments I’ve missed out on. Like going for coffee with a friend or my husband, or even just going out to eat. I don’t let it bother me but there is something to that. You know? Anyways.”
The thing about this thought that she shared isn’t about the fact that she didn’t have memories of these moments but she wished would have had more of them. I think we take for granted this idea of a visit, even when we don’t think an hour is enough time so we decide that we will wait until another day when we can spend more time together, it is plenty of time. In fact, it is a life changing amount of time. I want to point out something here. A statement like this could be taken as a feel sorry for me moment when in all actuality it is a moment of teaching. Of course these are real feelings that people work through and when they decide to share them with you, especial the older generation, there is a layer of, “Are picking up what I am putting down?”
So can I ask you a question? Good because I am going to. Are you fully grasping the people you love in your life? When I mentioned earlier about replacing a visit with a store-bought gift, what I meant by that was, sometimes, we take the easier path instead of the long lasting path. If I am going to be completely honest, this something I am learning constantly. I talk about balance and intention here a lot but I’ve learnt that the reason why I write is so I can understand this life that I have been given. I want to steward it well.
There is something to be said about gathering more, being present, and taking every moment with the people we love as much as we can. I do believe we have control of our time more than what we realize, if not our time then our mindset. There is more time in our day than what we believe. Our flip floppy society and culture does not have seep into the culture of our homes, we have that choice. We can build a day to day counter culture that will be sustainable and life giving even when we don’t see it now.
One day, you will be looking back on your life and you won’t be remembering that one reel out of millions that you scrolled through or how how much you got done Friday the 8th in 2026, but you will remember the moments you shared with others. Maybe even, the moments when you wish you would have went out to coffee with the ones that you loved. Pick up what my beautiful friend put down because the best gift you can possibly give someone and yourself is a visit, no reason just checking in, those are the gifts that last a lifetime.
This Mother’s Day, buy the flowers and the special gift but make sure to spend time with them. Fill the room with laughter, over eat, stay late, and be present! Happy Mothers Day to all the amazing mothers and to the fathers who are being both! I hope your day is full of joy and happiness!
And to my own mother, thank you for being my guiding light. I love you bunches!
